What to expect from the first days of school?

Dear Woodrow Wilson Academy Families, 

Welcome back (or welcome for the first time) to another school year! As your School Counselor, I want to introduce myself and share some ways to support your child through the first days and weeks of school, whatever grade they’re entering. 

A new school year is a transition, and transitions ask a lot of a child’s nervous system, even the excited ones. Below I’ve included tips organized by developmental stages to help set your child off on the right path as we head back to school. 

A Few Things True for Every Age 

• A good night’s sleep. Sleep is the foundation everything else sits on. Begin shifting bedtime and wake time towards the school schedule several days before the first day of school, and keep a calm, predictable evening routine. 

• Keep school goodbyes short. At drop-off, a warm hug, a brief and confident goodbye, and a promise of when you’ll return typically goes further than a lingering goodbye. Most children settle within several minutes once a trusted adult is out of sight. 

• Name feelings out loud, including your own. “I notice you’re wiggly and quiet this morning; that can mean nervous. I get nervous on first days too.” This models that big feelings are normal and manageable, not something to hide.  

• Preview what you can. A practice run of morning routines, a conversation about daily schedules, or driving past the school reduces the number of unknowns that can fuel anxiety. 

• Notice your child’s body cues, not just their words. Stomachaches, headaches, trouble sleeping, or irritability in the mornings can be the nervous system saying “this is a lot” before a child has words for it.  

Kindergarten to 2nd Grade: Building Safety and Routine 

This age group is establishing what school is. Separation worries, big emotions with little warning, and physical complaints (tummy, headaches, body aches, tiredness) are all developmentally typical here. 

What to expect 

• Clinginess or tears at drop-off, especially in the first two weeks

• Big feelings that show up as emotional outbursts 

• Exhaustion by afternoon. School can be genuinely tiring at this age. 

How you can support at home

• Create a simple, visual morning and bedtime routine (a picture chart works well) so our child knows what to expect. Here’s one I use. Feel free to copy and edit it for your household.

• Practice a goodbye ritual. A special handshake, hand squeeze, a consistent phrase like “see you after school” - and use everyday so it becomes a predictable anchor. 

• Teach one simple body-based calming tool, such as “Smell a flower, blow a bubble”. Practice it when your child is calm, like in the car or before bed, so it’s already familiar if they need it at school. 

• Keep after-school time low-key for the first couple of weeks, if possible. A snack, some quiet play, and connection time help your child decompress from a full day of new stimulation. 

3rd Grade to 5th Grade: Building Confidence and Independence

Upper elementary students are more capable of managing their own routines but are also becoming more aware of friendships, fairness, and how they compare to peers. Worries at this age often center on social belonging. 

What to expect 

• Questions about friendships, seating, and whether they’ll know anyone in class

• Increased self-consciousness and sensitivity to feedback

• A wider range in how kids show stress. Some kids will talk about it, others go quiet, or appear irritable when stressed. 

How you can support at home

• Involve your child in their own school day preparation. This can look like them packing their backpack, choosing supplies, or organizing a homework space. Ownership builds the confidence this age group craves. 

• Ask specific, open-ended questions. Instead of “How was school?” try “What was one easy part of today and one hard part?”

• Introduce a body scan or “check-in with your body” habit at bedtime: Starting at the toes and moving up, noticing where the body feels tight or relaxed. This builds the self-awareness kids need to catch stress early. 

6th Grade to 8th Grade: Supporting Autonomy

This age group is navigating more academic demands, more complex social dynamics, and real developmental shifts in the brain and body - all while wanting more independence from parents. They may be skeptical of anything that feels like a “technique,” so how you offer support matters as much as what you offer. 

What to expect 

• More privacy and less spontaneous sharing about their day

• Heightened stress around social status, changing friendships, and academic pressure

• Mood swings that are often physiological, not just emotional - sleep, hormones, and a still-developing prefrontal cortex all play a role

How you can support at home

• Offer connection without pressure. Side-by-side time (a car ride, cooking together) often invites more conversation than a direct, face-to-face “How are you feeling?”

• Normalize stress management as a life skill, not a fix for a problem. Try naming your own strategy out loud: “I’m feeling wound up. I’m going to take a few slow breaths before I respond.” Modeling lands better than instruction at this age. 

• Respect their growing autonomy while staying available. Let your student problem-solve first, and offer to think it through together if they get stuck, rather than stepping in immediately. 

• Watch for withdrawal that lasts more than a couple of weeks, a drop in things they used to enjoy, or big changes in sleeping or eating. These may be worth a conversation with your child’s pediatrician. 

When to Reach Out 

Some worry and adjustment are normal parts of any transition, and most children settle within the first few weeks. Please reach out if you notice your child’s distress is intense, ongoing, and is getting in the way of friendships, attending school, or daily functioning. You know your child best, and you never need to wait for a “big enough” reason to reach out. 

Some of the areas I offer support in are emotional regulation, frustration tolerance, distress tolerance, exploring new friendships, anxiety that impacts school functioning, changes in family systems, loss of a loved one (including pets), crisis management, and support in connecting with outside resources. 

Warmly, 

Jessica Eisenberg, MA, PSC, LPCC

K-8 School Counselor

Woodrow Wilson Academy

jeisenberg@wwacademy.org | 303-431-3694 ext. 104

Student request to see the school counselor